DOMESTIC ABUSE

A lovely painting by Tarbell
Like another blogger on one of my favorite blogs, I do not feel like putting on the humorous post I planned. We both read a post that changed all that. Not all who post each day, have a good life. Some struggle on a daily basis just to do what the rest of us take for granted. If we can get out and do our gardening and are in good health and do not have memories that have scarred us, we are blessed. We need to celebrate each day.

So I am leaving you with a beautiful picture and a poem that will shake your world. And check out the blog below. If you are a praying person, say a prayer for all those who are victims of domestic abuse. This lovely woman presses on and finds joy, and makes my problems seem so small. Thanks Brenda for your big heart in bringing this to our attention. Brenda's blog can be found on my fav role at the side.

This is not a warm and fuzzy post, but it is necessary once in awhile for us to remember that not all is pretty in blog land as Brenda says. Remember all the hurting and lonely people, keep them in your thoughts and prayers today. And say an extra prayer for Alex, who inspired this post. The doctors have found a tumor on her liver and she is feeling sick today. I know God never puts on us, more than we can bear, but sometimes it does seem unfair that someone who has been through so much already, has to suffer more. Get Well Alex.

Why?

I lay in the silence of the darkness
and hear the echoes of the night
Laying next to you I hear you breathe
in the shadows of moonlight.
I want you to embrace me
but I can't stand your touch
As I feel your body close to me
the pain is just too much.

The aching of my body
and the bruises on my skin
How can you sleep just knowing
the torment that I'm in?
This pain you have inflicted
I cannot understand
How can you say you love me
with the palm of your hand?

For better or worse our vows of love
till death do us part
Were broken on our honeymoon
like a knife in my heart.
As you're sleeping soundly
my eyes filled with tears
Is this what I have to look forward to
for the next fifty years?

Silently I get out of our bed
and tiptoe to the door
I then slip into the shower
and fall silently to the floor.
Crying as I try to wash
the filth from my skin
The memories stay to haunt me
of this terror I live in.

Curled up on the shower's floor
crying my silent tears
I try to wash my bruises
and escape my fears.
I wonder why you hurt me
and say that it is love
Why take away my happiness
and all that I dreamed of?

Like a child to be punished
you say it's discipline
"For I must obey my husband
and show respect to him."
You say that I'm deceitful
and that I have affairs
I'm sleeping with the neighbour
I have lovers everywhere!

The pain of your accusations
cut me like a knife
How could you think I'd do that
even though I'm your wife?
So you hit me to remind me
not to fool around
The sanctity of our marriage
is just emptiness I've found.

As I wipe away the tears
I can still feel the pain
What is this need to punish me
over and over again?
You promised to protect me
but I can only wonder why
The same hand that embraces me
is the same that makes me cry.

As I crawl out of the shower
I had hoped to clear my head
But all I felt was hopelessness
as I returned to bed.
I lay there in the shadows
listening to you breathe
Wondering if I'll ever have the strength
and the courage to leave.

© Christina
4th July, 1995


My Quill and Pen