Friday, September 12, 2008

MY DMV PHOTO haunts my dreams at night!


I had my picture taken a few weeks ago, at the DMV. Now, it has been a while since I let a camera point it's ugly little head in my direction. I never take a good pic but I was determined this one would be different. This was going to be my shining hour. I had my hair done, it looked good! I had on my favorite white top with little black stick figures on it.(Chicos). I would smile for the camera. All people's DMV photos I have ever seen, always look grouchy or mad. This was going to be the prettiest one, you ever saw, say like Paris Hilton's photo. She took the best mug shot, didn't she? Well, my turn came, and I smiled this Mona Lisa smile, the camera flashed and I waited for my picture, pleased as punch with my bad self.

OMG, when I saw that photo, it looked like a chipmunk on prosac. It was awful. I was grinning, not smiling,,grinning from ear to ear, which naturally closed my eyes tight shut and that person was sooo incredibly old. I am hiding this thing away never to see the light of day and pray God, no one ever ask to see it. I am tearing it up on my death bed as the last thing I do, so no one in the family will ever see it. It makes Nick Nolte's mug shot look like Brad Pitt!

Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."
Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. Where's the car?"
Wife: "In the swimming pool."


Magistrate: 'But if you saw the lady driving towards you, why didn't you give her half the road?'
Motorist: 'I was going to, Your Honour, as soon as I could find out which half she wanted.


'Motorist: 'But, officer, I was speeding because I'm late for an appointment with my lawyer.'
Policeman: 'Well, now you've got something else to tell him.'

73 comments:

CurtissAnn said...

Thank you for the delightful humor, dear. My biggest problem with the official photos is that I cannot keep my eyes open with a flash. I have dry eyes, and they are going to close every time. So there I am, an old-lady with eyes closed. The woman who took my passport photo tried and tried, and eventually I tilted my head upward and tried to squint. Well, imagine what that ended up like.

Nola @ AlamoNorth said...

Eve, you are too funny! That bit about looking like a chipmunk on prosac had me laughing hysterically. The cats came running into the room to see what was happening. I think there are more people that look like us than look like Paris Hilton. No need to smile, anyway, because if a police officer stops you, you sure won't be smiling then!

Brenda said...

I can't take a good picture to save my life. If you smile, you look like a fool. If you don't, you look like a prisoner going to the chamber. I've given up. People ask me why they don't see my photos on my blog. Well, I'm not a witch from hell, but my face just isn't very "camera friendly." I don't know if it's having lived 51 years, or it's a genetic defect that I just don't know how to pose.
Brenda

Morning Glories in Round Rock said...

Oh, too funny! And it seems that we all identify too well with your dilemma. I do not do well getting my picture taken either. I always manage to blink to moment the camera clicks. Chipmunk on prozac! Hee-hee! Now I will always think of that when I have my picture taken.

debbiewhitlock said...

Hi Eve,
Thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving words of encouragement. Its appreciate.

Debbie

Irish Cottage Dreams said...

I bet you looked very pretty!
We are our worst enemies...

Hugs~Kimme

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